It took me a week or two, but I reached out to the high school classmate who lost her son. And I feel compelled to set the record straight.
Andy was not bullied. He was an outgoing teenager, by all accounts very active in school and in the community, well loved by everyone. And he was always smiling.
He showed no signs of depression. There was no warning that this was coming.
They don't really know why Andy chose to end his own life. They didn't see it coming. They are in shock.
It's perhaps more perplexing that he was not bullied...
I shared with Ann that I attempted suicide several times during high school (I wanted her to know that her son didn't realize the pain that it would cause his family). I guess my parents would have been shocked if I had succeeded then. As it was, they didn't even know the first several times. After high school I would go into treatment for my eating disorder, followed by several more attempts and then a stint in the psych ward.
Since then I have dealt with suicidal urges off and on. The most serious came during recovery from an anorexic period several years ago. I actually wrote a note. But I realized that I could never go through with it because I knew my children would suffer and I worried for their future.
I'm going to leave this post half-baked as it is. It's taking me to a place I don't like to go. I need to be present. Live in the now.
God bless!
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