Time to shape the fuck up! My resolutions:

1. Write an effin' blog post already! A real one - this list shit doesn't count. It's been more than six months! If you can't keep up a blog you have no sense in having one!
2. Get a job. One that pays money this time! Enough of being complacent in your easy job with the convenient location and great hours. It doesn't pay the bills! Just get real already! In order to make a REAL living you might need to inconvenience yourself just a bit! 
3. Clean up the fucking house! It's a pig sty! And don't do it just once... you're going to have to maintain the order by cleaning regularly!
4. Take the pets to the vet. What kind of irresponsible pet owner are you? You may not be swimming in money but instead of getting pizza every Friday you could take the dog and cat in for proper care!
5. And get them groomed while you're at it! The dog STINKS to high heaven! Shell out the bucks to have someone clean her!
6. THROW SHIT OUT! Shouldn't be that hard. You've got a lotta shit laying around. If it's shit it should be thrown out. End of story!
7. Go to the grocery store on a regular basis and cook real, balanced meals!
8. Stop drinking! What's it getting you? I know you're not an alcoholic, but the money and calories you waste with booze isn't worth the moments of dulled pleasure it gives you... Think about it!
9. Balance your budget. You're wasting your money on lots of shit and spending like you make way more than you do. Even if I can't prove it you KNOW it's true!
10. Here's where we get serious: either love your husband, or leave him...